:: Should It Matters? ::

I love this song. =) I love songs, music which are smoothing to ears, calming to the spirit and soul. I don't really like those heavy metal music, techno which are deafening to ears, more of noise pollution to me. Haha... No offense to those techno music lovers. =P But of course, church music may seems loud but they are very different, because you know what you are singing and the atmosphere is different. I'm not the type of "high" people, therefore, I don't like to go clubbing and all sort of activities, not because I want to act "holy", but its just me lor. Haha.. We're created all differently, aren't we? =)

Bought a copy of Straits Times on Saturday and I will be looking through for job opportunities later. =D It's a time to say goodbye to my current workplace in a month's time when contract ends. 1 month will fly past quickly, just like how 2 years of NS flew past me. I will not forget God's provision for me in this 2 months, indeed, He have bless me with some experience in work that I will never forget. Thank You God for helping me in this 2 months in work.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

:: Stress ::

Maybe, I am not suitable for this. I don't have the capacity to handle such stress and the capacity to contain the heavy workload. Not exactly heavy, but it's quite alot for me. People say that you don't look how big the problem is, but look at how big God is and there's nothing that He can't do for us if we have the faith and ask for it. It's quite true, but I feel that it's giving me unnecessary stress.

Today Cell Group message was very good. It really spoke to my heart. Everything that I own belongs to God, and I shouldn't "complain" that why God gave others more than what He gave me. God gave everyone something, but He cannot give everyone everything. If He does, people will not see the point of having God in their lives, because they themself can do without God.

I will start to look for better job opportunities soon. Although I love the working environment, the workload is a heavy burden to me. I can't really handle it well. What's the point of staying when my heart seems to be miles apart? Looks like my heart has come out to a final conclusion.

28 more days...

:: Monday Blues ::

It's a Sunday midnight, or rather, you can call it early Monday morning. Not really looking to work as I want to have more rest. But, I shall confess that I am looking forward to it cuz if I have the "Sianz" spirit, my work will be very "sianz", but if I have the positive spirit, my work will be a delight! Thanks Simon for your 3'P' and the big G. "Patience, Perseverance & Persistence". The big G, refers to the Big God. =)

2 more weeks, Aaron & Yan Qiu will be sending forth to Tekong. I will really miss them, their fellowship. I really pray that they can adapt well in a whole new environment over there. Thinking back of how I first enter into a complete new world in 2006, tears flow down when I lie on my bed the first night. No one sees it, no one hears it. Inside my heart, I really wish to be with my family members, my friends. I don't want to be there, neither I want to be confine. The feeling was really down. Sleeping with 10 complete strangers in a room for the first few nights, how can you excuse yourself where Singapore is so near yet so far away? Where can you find the familiar faces, the brotherly embrace, a listening ear at night? A bed that you have been sleeping for the past few years, a room that have watches you grow up, they are no longer with you. This is a terrible stage that I have to go through during the period.

Maybe, this is the feeling that I have gone through during that period of time, and that's why I feel so much for them. Of course, they need not to have the same feeling with me, but I pray that God can really bless them with good section mates, commanders and officers, or at least a christian in their section, and they can share and build each other up during the trainings, etc.

For Kelvin, more or less he's getting used to the lifestyle, but his happiness is gone. He's no longer smiling as he used to, the laughter that he used to joke with the TP guys in our CG. A stage whereby boys turn to men, has cause so much unhappiness to men. I pray that one day the joyful spirit will return in him.

If you were to ask me to go through the stage in BMT again, I would surely have the same feeling as I used to when I have back in BMT, although I just ORD in June. Maybe, I have seen more skies than the trees and have gotten used to them, that's why green doesn't sound appealing to me.

Let the spirit of joy always be with the NS guys, forever and ever more. Amen.

:: Plans ::

SIM are finally open for registration. Looking at my current state, do I like office work? Yes, I like. However, I feel that if I were to apply for Human Resource Management course, I cannot progress very far in this career, as young, pretty and handsome people will overtake and snatch the rice bowl. Am I right to comment that, I wonder?

Should I go for designing? Well, I like designing too, but I don't have the creative cells in me. I feel that it's not enough to fight with others based on the simple things that I have created. Maybe, I have too much expectation of myself or either, I am right.

So, where should I go? I have been dragging about my life time decision for a long time, since I enter NS.. That was 2 yrs ago.. O_0.. Alot of things that I have consider to pursue before.

#1) Chef - I rejected because I don't want to sacrifice my weekends. Looking at how strict the master chef is on TV, I better think twice for a weak heart of mine.

#2) Designing - I have consider of going with NAFA or LASELLE before. Considering the facts that I have to produce a port folio, I can't do that, plus lacking of creative cells.

#3) HR - The rice bowl won't last for long. Young people are always in demand, and you can't be remain young forever.


Other options includes Home designing, full time ministry in Chorus Board, etc. So many things, what should I choose? A path that I take by choices, or when opportunity arises, which one should I choose?

God, lead my way. . .

:: Serving @ JW ::

It was good. It could be the first time that I do the Main Board in a service. The last time that I do could be during PM @ JW, or either @ Expo. (Most probably abt a year ago) I am glad that I have move on, and I had set ahead of my goal that I have set starting this year in ministry wise. =)

Although I only do one song, "Perfect Love". I was glad that I was given the opportunity to do the song. When my team leader ask me, I hesistate for quite some time, but then, I decided to give it a try, its now or never. Looking forward to do more worship songs and praise songs in JW!

Hopefully by end 2009 or early 2010, I can move on to do annoucements, offering verse, sermons, etc. It's a challenge as you have to be alert, sharp in the spirit, and to flow with pastors. Ohh.. Still trying to get use of the huge LED screen @ Expo. Haha.. Chorus Board has gone up to a higher level so fast, in terms of the new LED screen, the graphics, etc. That's why maybe Rev. Dr. C. Peter Wagner are invited to CHC to preach, to slow things done. Hehe.. =P

:: Tired ::

Service today was quite different. We had a 2 min conversation with our "neighbours" and I get to know a guy call Lawrence. He's from SOT and he's anchor in JW service. Quite a friendly guy and he is only in church for 1 yr plus, coming Christmas is his 2 yrs. A cool looking and a mature christian. Though he may be young in the Lord, but he has grew so much in faith, so much on fire for God. A amazing testimony to younger christians that the young can be mature, not just for the older christians.

I was quite surprise when he told me that. I though that he could be grow up from Children Church, or be in church for quite sometime already. Haha. Well, so what if you have been in church for 5, 7 or even 10 years? You could be there physically, but your hearts may not be with God. (Something that I need to do. . . . . .)

I want to sleep for much, and I almost felt asleep during Service. So tired physically and mentally as I did not have a proper sleep for the past few nights. How I wish that I can just stay at home and sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep.

:: Angry ::

I am so angry with this particular girl. You should know who you are. If you think that you still have a heart, please do what you are suppose to do. Unless your heart is being eaten up, I have nothing else to say. This is not the first time that it has happen.

I advise you to take a look into a mirror, what to you see? If you are in my position as a friend and you were to see your reflection, how would you think of this friend? Unless you never treat me as a friend at all, well, I would be more than happy to end this friendship and buried it 6 feet underground in a cemetry where nobody know.

:: I'm back (Part 2) ::

Last Sat is a National Day, and I am required to work. I was pretty happy because in just a day, my pay cross over $100. Haha.. It was really a joy to have abundance in my bank, not yet banked in but soon. Haha.. Of course, money is always not enough. Well, not because I am greedy, but there are alot of things that I need to buy. Sometimes I wish to bless people too. =)

Service was great with Pastor Tan @ JW today. I love hearing his stories of how he started serving in Sound Ministry, following by taking part in Inter-Church Sports day, and how he started to serve in dance ministry in Easter drama, and then that's how he get into creative arts and then he get to know Pastor Kong & Sun. Through that, he take up driving license and then he will drive Pastor around. Cool right? I never knew that my No. 2 man in church, Pastor Tan can dance. Haha.. Oh ya, the whole congregation was shock too I guess, cuz he look so "Si Wen".. Laughter roar across the whole auditorium and everyone applause for him. Haha..

My dad's birthday is today. My siblings and I went to do some shopping at JP and we work together and cook a dinner for him. This is the first year we buy a cake for him too, and he was very happy. He smiled! Haha.. In the past, we didn't buy for him cuz he always say he don't want a cake. Well, this year, we just buy. It's not abt the cake I guess, but it's about honoring. He always work so hard for the family, and it's not easy to bring up 6 kids. Next time, I really hope that I can have the capacity to bring him to a restaurant to eat. =)

It's going to a tiring week this week. Work starts @ 8.30a.m and end till 6p.m or 8p.m. Tired but happy. =) Maybe if I can, I will go to Heart of God Church for the morning prayer meetings, cuz travelling to my workplace will be easier and I can reach on time. Well, maybe next week when my work starts @ 9a.m.

Good Night...