:: Love ::

What is love?

- Love is desire to give, without expecting the other person to give back.
- Love is accepting people for who they are.
- Love is a wonderful feeling.
- Love is selfless.
- Love is forever.

Why do I talk about love in this entry? Well, basically I find myself that I have not been having the spirit of loving recently. Due to a particular incident happen in my camp last Friday, I have been quite angry with that guy. On Saturday after Service, I share with Wei Jian about this. Initially, I don't really want to open up, but still, I share with him. I told him that I don't hate that guy, but I dislike him. What confuse me was, he said that isn't the same? Can I love a person but dislike him/her at the same time? Someone please counsel me. . .

I still did not let go completely, letting go bit by bit, until today, I feel better when I bump into that guy in camp. We still got laugh abit during our conversation. Strange huh? Just a few 48 hours ago I treat him like a enemy but today was quite different. Maybe, I have choose to let go of this incident. Firstly, he does not know God, that's why he don't know where to seek for comfort when he's hurt, where to seek for "attention", to get people to know him. Everybody needs attention, just that he choose the wrong way to get.

All changes my mind because of this verse...

This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
- 1 John 3:11

Well, it doesn't really helps when people talk to me how we should love everyone, especially when you are seriously hurt. We should care for the person first, and not just preach how we should do this and that, how we should not do this or that. Well, every Christians know that they have to love, because that is what the bible says and that is what God expect us Christians to do so. However, as what the Pastor always say, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care!".

Not trying to pin point anyone out there. It's just that I feel that we should learn to care for people in a right manner. Maybe in a right place, right timing, and of course, the right words! Hahaa..

Thanks Pearly for what you wrote on your blog too. It help me to open up my mind more to God's love... =)

On another side... I bump into Q on Sunday evening.. Q was my secret lover.. Hahaa.. I was shy and I look down.. Well, that was not a real genuine love.. But, my heart and mind just keep on thinking about Q, I think God is jealous.. Well.. Hahaa.. I should really let go of some "love" too, not just letting go of pains.. Hehee.. =P

:: Thoughts ::

I wonder if I should include how hurt or how angry I feel in my blog. Firstly, its not really a nice thing to remember. By writing down in my blog will let me remember the pain again when I read them in future. Sounds reasonable? I guess so. Therefore, whatever hurts I have in future, I will not write the exact details of what happen. It's all for a good cause. Anyway, I should learn to forgive and forget. However, such things especially that hurts you alot is impossible to forget. So, this is one of the way to prevent me from getting hurt in future.

Well, of course, I do not live a perfect life. By not writing all this down, it doesn't reflect that I am showing others I have a perfect life, and everyday that I pass by is happy. Especially during this period, when I am still in NS.. Some things are rather sensitive and I cannot just anyhow say out. No matter how angry I feel towards some of the people in my camp, I will just remain silence. This is one of the way to respect them, by not saying things about them, especially since technology are so advance and anyone could be reading your blog.

Anyway, I am pretty excited looking forward to my ORD date. The people in camp should be rejoicing too. Why do I say that? Cuz they are always complaining how badly we perform, how we shouldn't do this and that. When we are officially ORD, they will not longer have such problems. Get the idea over here? It's indeed a win win situation. Nothing to talk about. =)

My plans for now is to probably to take a break after I ORD. I might enrolled in the second batch of the year in the private university. Since I can't really decide where I want to go, and I don't want to make a quick decision. It's better for me.. Since I regret choosing DECC when I was in poly when I dislike engineering at all. I don't want the same thing to happen again. . .

Service tml.. Pastor Ulf Ekman.. Loving his teaching!! Hahaa.. =D

:: Back! ::

Been quite busy and tired for the past few days. Stay in camp till midnight yesterday and I clock the latest hour stay in camp ever, 2-3 plus in the morning. Never in my life I have stay till so late before. The only time I stay that late was probably when I was still in Tekong ba. Hahaa..

How am I doing? Well, I could say that my emotions are not doing so good. I didn't really enjoy this year Chinese New Year as my parents have some cold war between them, and it affected me quite a bit as I was looking forward in celebrating together happily as a family. However, it did not happen as I wanted it to be. Till now, they still have not been talking to each other. This could be the longest war ever declare in the family.

All I hope for was love to be restored in this family, especially between my parents... God, I pray that my parents will fell in love with each other again. Let nothing divide this family.

I have also not been doing good in my spiritual walk with God too. Lazy, Distraction, Battles in my mind are the reasons. Just getting better this few days, and it could be better. I hope that I can really do what I have set in the beginning of the year, and I don't want to make empty promises, especially to God. If I can't do a simple thing for God, how can I do it for others?

I will update more in future & I hope that I can really make it happen. Going off to sleep soon. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, and I am looking forward to the Overnight Prayer Meeting!

:: Will Be Back! ::

Been a long time since I blog. Will update soon! =) Meanwhile, do enjoy this song. I find that its a very nice song although the language is foreign! Hahaa.