She is not a christian, which means I might not have a chance to see her again in future. Sometimes, I would really wished that I can went a trip down to wherever she is, Sheol or wherever to pay her a visit and talk to her. I missed the nice smell on her. When I was young, I would stay at her house to sleep. I was quite a naughty and playful boy and I will always sing nursery rhymes and purposely disturb her sleeping. LOL.. I miss her making milo for me whenever I visited her. I missed the coffee that she make for me. I miss her everything.
The tomb sweeping festival is coming soon, and I have not been visiting her tomb ever since 2005 or 2006 when I come back to the Lord again. It's because my relatives will asked me to hold the joss sticks and offer prayers to her, which I can't. If I stand there and looked at her tomb, it would be very weird too. If I visit her tomb alone, that will be super weird too. CCK has such a huge area of cemetery and I will be lost in the "concrete jungle" for sure.
You know, I don't know why but I love to visit cemetery. @_@ In the past, when my family were to go and sweep the tomb, I will always be very excited to go. When I looked at the tombs, I would sometimes think how would their life be and how did they pass on. A tomb near my grandfather who passed away in 1976 shows a very young boy, probably in his teens. It showed a scout photo of his and I wondered if his cause of death is due to drowning? You know those days, boys like to play by the river after school? So probably he would have slipped and fall and drowned? Strange me huh? I also remembered when I was in Sec 2, I have a SJAB Zone Course, and one of them is to have topo at CCK Cemetery. We walked all the way up to the top of the cemetery till late afternoon, and it was so dark by the time when we reached the bottom. I can see the tombs as early as 1950s or 1960s, and it looks as if it have been abandoned because behind the tombstones, there's a paint spraying a number behind them.
Should I go this year? I really miss my grandma a lot. There's also a strange thing which till today I couldn't explain to myself, or perhaps, I am just imaging things.
After my grandma passed away, I heard a very familiar footsteps sound coming from my house kitchen. It belongs to my grandma! So I quickly stopped what I was doing(playing neopets I think) and rushed to the kitchen. Of course, I didn't see anything. But I was sure that the sound belong to my Ah Ma because of the slippers that she wore and the sound that it make. Was it really her? Or am I just too tired and missed her too much that I heard the sound wrongly? It happened in the middle of midnight and perhaps I was just really too tired. All my family members were already sleeping then. . .
Ah Ma.. I love you. .
No comments:
Post a Comment