:: I'm back! ::

It has been a pretty long time since I blog. Maybe about 2 weeks? My flesh has been physically tired due to work, and there will be more to come for the next 2 - 3 weeks. This is due to more work load that is coming up, and I will also be working on National Day. Well, I am pretty happy because firstly there's no service on that day and it won't affect my church timing and my pay is double! Haha..

I have decided to let go on certain areas that I am struggling for a long time. There would be times when I face temptations, but I don't wish to hurt God's feeling anymore. He has been so good to me, so good. . . I can't depend on my own strength to have a complete breakthrough, and I want to cling on His strength. There might be times when I go through the cycle again, but I want to run to Him even more, because there's no one else above God to seek the source from. (I pray that this will be crave in my heart and my mind always)

Service was really good. I really need to repent because I . . . . (Si Hui will know). During Prayer Meeting, I apologise to God and I asked for His forgiveness. I pray for a word that will come in season that will really touch my heart, and so it did. =) Pastor Derek gave an altar call for those who feel weary, and I went forward with Louisa. I can really feel God's touch when one of the Pastor lay hands on me, either Pastor Tan or Pastor Aries. When I fall onto the ground, my face was hot, but I don't know why. When I fall onto the ground, my shirt was lifted up and thus my stomach was being EXPOSED! Not totally but about 1/4 of it. I was really embrassed and I don't know how should I react. Thankfully the ushers or the security cover it with a towel. (I always thought that is only meant for sisters!) Maybe I am the first brother in the whole CHC history to use it. O_O

W421 is experiencing a growth. Our total membership have hit above 15 and it was really a good sign for more growth. Wei Jian brought a new frenz, Bernard, for service today, and he is only sec 1. Quite a cute but playful boy. Hahaa.. We went over to Terminal 3 for a time of fellowship. Was quite glad to have Kelvin back with us and he look really different! It's really not easy for him as he was in the enhanced batch, so everything was like very rush for him. Kelvin, stay strong k? Will keep you in prayers. =)

CG will change back to Friday as there's no house available to use on Sunday, thus, it's back to Friday CG again and I'm glad that this arrangement is make as I can continue to serve at JW again. I am really happy to serve over there because I felt that I grow together with the service. From the starting week that I serve in JW, the Powerhouse section was not really filled. Slowly, it kept on adding people, and 2 weeks ago, it was really jam pack all the way to the back! It's just an ordinary service, no special speakers! It's really a joy to see Service 4 growing although I am not anchor in that service, but it's a sign that hitting 30,000 is happening real soon.

Having a outreach later on at Holland V. Pray that frenzs will be really impacted by the fellowshipping of the saints, and members will greatly enjoy the fun! Good night! =)

:: Updates ::

Wednesday
Work starts! Did I mentioned that I am working at SP Services? I am currently working as a backroom admin and I am processing customers request on termination of the utilities services, such as people moving out of the unit or offices, etc. It quite a good working environment as I love office work, and the 8 - 5 office jobs. Although my interest is very much in F & B, but I don't like to sacrifice my weekends. Weekends are meant for church and my rest time. =)

Thursday
Second day of work. It was good to be attach around to various department. Quite a good experience as I get to know more about the company. They have their own food court too, and I am amazed that the prices are cheap! In Orchard area where can find food cheap as the normal coffee shop at our HDB estate? Thank God for such surprises! I had a Xiao Wan Mian as my lunch and it only cost $3! Haha.. The soup base is really delicious and the noodles portion are quite generous as well. Haha..

Went over to Suntec later for Prayer Meeting. Walk from Orchard to there. Since I knock off at 6p.m and it only start at 7.30p.m, why not I take my own sweet time to go there instead of taking MRT? Haha.. Save $$$, and it's also a good form of exercise. (You will see that it's really a good form of exercise as I explain further)

From Somerset, I walk and walk. Past by our affiliated church, Heart of God Church. Walk past Dhoby Ghaut MRT, walked past SMU, etc. To save money, I decided to go to the "Four Horse Road" (Direct Translation from chinese) market to have a light dinner. To my dismay, it is close for upgrading. Went over to the temporary set up market, it's still not open yet. Walk for so long, and to find out that. No choice but to go to somewhere and eat, so I settle my stomach with one $2 double cheese burger at the Bugis McDonald's. Meet my budget. =P

Well, so it was yet another long walk from Bugis to Suntec City, but I don't mind. As long as I can find my way there, even though I have to climb up several mountains, I will still go. Haha.. =P I just love our church office. It was just so good to be there, especially when we pray together, and I could really feel God's presence when we pray, and it's so good. Haha..

Friday
Another day that I am looking forward to. Start to get a hands on experience and it was good. =) My mentor was quite a nice and patient guy in teaching me. The other staff who is doing the same job as me are quite friendly people too, and I really thank God for such wonderful people. Need more time to get to know them more as I am the person who don't really open up to people. So, hopefully by end of Sep I can get to know them even better, not just by their names.

Went to CG after that. Had a quick dinner at Sharon's house downstairs. Thank God for another $2 meal. All target meet. Haha.. CG was good as Sharon talks about relationships. Hmm... Well, sometimes, we got to learn to handle our emotions well even when others will mistreat us, we got to be honest with our feelings, and not try to hit it. Eventually, your hurts will come out one day, and that day might be too late le.

Saturday
Work till 1p.m and then head down to PS to get presents for Kelvin and Hui Shan. Bought a cake from Secret Recipe and I think that it could be quite delicious. Haha.. Had a hard time searching for cards as some wordings are not so nice one. After some time of searching, manage to find something which is ok. The cards are quite $$$. Prices shall not be reveal here as Kel and Shan might read. Haha.. Anyway, there's a cute winnie the pooh that caught my attention with a red colour specs. I fall in love with it when I saw that, and I guess that it might be a good present for Shan, so I bought that too.

Went to the John Little Mega Expo sale after that. Meet up with Aaron and Yan Qiu to go shop around. The prices that are still ok. Bought myself a grey colour office wear which cost $14. Walk around the hall till legs are aching. Same comments go for Aaron and Yan Qiu too.

Service was wonderful with Rev Mike Connell. He is such a Fatherly person and I really like the way he laugh. It's just so loving. =) Many people are set free in the service and it was good. We celebrate Hui Shan's birthday after that and I am glad that she likes the Pooh Bear. So comparable with her when she put the small little cute bear beside her. Hahaha.. Ops.. We also appreciate Kel as he will not be around for 2 weeks, hope that he can really be strong in NS. Jia You Kelvin!

Fellowship at Bedok after that. Food was nice and I order myself a Mee Pok. Great time eating with the brothers in the same table. =) Glad to have Glenn joining us for dinner as well. Jia You for your studies Glenn Kong Kong!

:: Tuesday ::

Financial Blessings have come to past!!

On Monday, which is yesterday, my dad bless me with $50.
On Tuesday, which is today, the government bless me with $200.
On Wednesday, which is tomorrow, will I get a $800 blessings? Haha..

Really thank God for His provision throughout this dry season of mine. It's really a miracle for me that I am able to have financial blessings when things seems impossible to me. Where would the money come from?

On top of that, I have been selected to work! I will be starting work tomorrow, and I have to report at 8.45a.m. Haha.. The job payment system also works in a very good way, which means I will get paid 2 times per month, but it will take another week to process. Anyway, what more can I asked for? God is really a good God. =)

I just signed up for MySavings Account through POSB. I think that this would be a good way to help me to save money. I "pledge" to save $50 every month and it will be deducted on the 25th of a new month. It's really pathetic to see my current bank account fall less than $500, which is suppose to be the amount inside or $2 will be deducted.

I will also be starting to have a personal book of my expenses for every month starting July. Every dollar and every cents, I will pay attention to it. This is a good way to keep track where my money go, and in which area I should cut down my expenses. It will mainly be tithe, handphone bills, transportation allowance, food, and some miscellaneous items such as refreshments for CG, stationery, etc.

Hopefully, through all this steps, I can see a financial breakthroughs in my life. =)

:: Me ::

It's been quite sometime since I blog. Maybe just like Pascale, I have lost the interest in blogging. Maybe, it could be due to my emotion that I am going through, I don't really feel like talking, I feel that it's hard for me to open up to people. I wish that I can share what I am going through with people, but it's just too hard for me.

Last Saturday, my zone have a meeting at Riverwalk. I was suppose to reach there by 0930 for training for catcher, but I overslept. The actual meeting starts at 1130. I was thinking of going for the meeting anot, because my ez-link card value is depleting, and I have no money to top up, nor to have a proper meal. It's either I don't have money to top up, or I don't have money to eat. I hesitate for a very long time, then I decided to go. I have a quick bath, because my dad can fetch me to Boon Lay MRT before he go to work. He was actually outside having breakfast with some of my siblings. However, I was about to finish drying myself and he came back. He was not able to wait for me as he was in a hurry. I came out of the toilet, it was 1035. Actually, I was thinking of borrowing money from him first, but I didn't have a chance. I don't know what to do, I was in a loss, I felt emo. It's just so hard for me to go out. Should I just skip Expo service and go for Jurong West service for a time being? It's just a 7 min walk from my house. Can save up to $5 of transportation fees from my house to Expo, and from Expo to my house.

Maybe, I was just going through what Henry is going through after he ORD. No money for travelling, and that's why sometimes it's really hard for him to join us for dinner. You watch people eat and you don't. Maybe, it's good to have blessings from the members once in awhile, but if every week that happens, you won't really feel good at all.

My main concern now is to get a job and save some money. I will be going for a interview tomorrow at Somerset. Hopefully I am able to get the job, although I will miss the chance to go for Saturday zone prayer meetings in future. I couldn't wait anymore, this could be one of the best opportunities for me to earn money. Anyway, I can still go for CG, Service 2, and able to serve in ministry, so it won't be any big issue.

Emotion dying, verge of going insane. . . . .

I Surrender All - True Worshippers

Thank You for the cross that You have paid
For all my sins You’ve sacrificed Yourself
I am nothing Lord without Your grace
You were there to lift me when I failed

As I lift my hands
Pour Your mercy O God
Longing for Your presence now

I surrender all and I will follow You
I surrender all and bring my life to You
I surrender all and live my life for You
I surrender all, I surrender all
To You Jesus

:: Internet Breakdown ::

Internet or modem have emotion? Yes they do. :'( A lightning cause a loud strike and my modem was terrify, thus causing him to shutdown. So, please don't bully your modem. Let it have some rest yeah?

Right now, I am attaching to another Internet source near my house there, Uheaven. A place that is set up quite some months ago or a year ago. Although the place is not really built up so nice, but at least it still have Internet access.

I promise about blogging the BIGBANG Camp. Somehow, I have lost the interest le. =P All I can say is, I really enjoyed this camp alot although I miss the Pulau Ubin trip due to having a dental appointment at NUH in the morning. Anyway, its really cool to be in the camp. My house is Amplified, and my team is Ai-Chong! Haha..

I would like to thank Wei Jian specially. Thanks for standing by me all this while and encourage me to go to camp. Although there were many times I am tempted not to go, but still, I went for it. Thank you so much. Not forgetting Sharon, you have been my emotional support. =) Lastly, all glory goes up to Jesus for keeping me safe throughout the camp! =)

:: Back from Camp!! ::

I'm back from BigBang Camp! The 3 days and 2 nights was a fun one. =) Shall blog more when I'm free! =)

:: Service ::

It's a long walk from Expo MRT station to Hall 1, but the walk seems to be shorten compare to the previous time. Probably it could be due to more exhibitions in Expo than the past when the church shifted to Hall 1? Or probably I was day dreaming while I was walking? Well, anyway, the most important thing is that I can get to go to church on time. =)

We had 3 new frenzs for Service! 2 are from my Connect Group brought by Derek, and they are Ruyi and Ryan. Both of them are just so cute in Jesus name. =P Another frenz is Vivian, who belongs to Kelvin's Connect Group. It's indeed great to see new frenzs keep coming, and that's the power of Prayer! Guess what, we have been conceiving Ruyi in our prayers for a week, and during the altar call, she gave her heart to Jesus! Praise The Lord!! =)

Service was great with Rev. Dr. Robb Thomson. He talks about having abundance in our lives, and about how our life with God. Shall blogged down a few points what he shared impacted me.
1. God will never give you a future that makes Him unnecessary.
2. A life without a harvest is proof you have invested in the wrong people.
3. Giving to God what belongs to Him guarantees God giving to us what grace provides.

God will never give us something that will cause us to be prideful, to declare independence from Him. All of us need God, and we have to make Him to be part of our lives. God is a part of our lives, not apart! He deserve to be the greatest portion in our lives. Well, every time I talk about this, I will feel really guilty. I guess, I must be a doer of my word. I don't want to come to a point whereby I lost something in the end, because the only cure for ingratitude is lost.

After the service, we went over to PS to fellowship. Had tempura chicken set for dinner, which cost me about $4.50, thanks to Yan Qiu for the 10% discount. Hahaa.. Food is not bad, and it was a good time playing the game after that outside PS. We played "Big Fish & Small Fish", and I keep pronouncing fish wrongly, with all kind of funny words. Got shift, shit, etc. Guess I am too much into doing shift in my NS. O_O Hahaha...

Didn't joined them for movies. Wanted very much to go but I have not enough. Prayed that I can have a stable job soon and I would have allowance. =) I want a financial breakthrough in my life! =)

:: ORD ::

The 2 years of journey has come to an end. I have been looking forward to this day for a long long time. In this 2 years, it has given me opportunities working together with different people. It has give me a glimpse of how outside the working world would be like, and I feel that it has been great to be in this unit where I am posted to.

I have mixed feelings when I leave my camp. Looking at some of the buildings that I used to go and the corridors that I have once walk, somehow, there's a feeling of sadness in departing them. Although there would be times of unhappiness, but there are times whereby I laugh together with my friends too. I can say that this place build up some meaningful relationships with my friends, and this is also the place where I like someone so deeply but I didn't confess. Seriously, I have never been so deeply attracted to people before. Hahaa.. Well, somethings are meant to keep for a secret. No worries, I have not been so addicted to this person as much as before, I am slowly giving up thinking and meditating upon this relationship. =P Must slowly let go want mah, how can so fast say I don't love you and immediately next day I don't love you liao? LOL.. Feelings are hard to die off. Anyway, that issue shall reserve for the future.

I feel quite elated when I get my pink IC! Haha.. It's been 2 years being "locked" up. Hahaa.. Embarking a new journey in 2008!! =) 3 more days to BigBang Camp! :D

:: Stepping Out ::

Today was second time serving in Jurong West, but I was serving at the different spot of the auditorium, which is the area where PowerHouse used to be. That area was "anointed" as the spot was pretty cold and I keep trembling. Maybe I should wear a jacket with me next time when I serve.

While the management are still testing and running the new side board, I will be doing the projector system where by I will be flashing the BV 5 lines. Had a SOT student at my side to understudy. Haha.. Well, I am not really nervous as the SOT student has some experience while she serve in the SOT lesson. =)

The experience over at Expo and Jurong are really different. Over at Expo, the equipments have been set up nicely for you, and all you have to do is just to flow with the song and flash the lyrics. However, Jurong West you will have to do the setting up yourself, and I am not quite good at it. Had a good scolding from Rosa cuz she has taught me the previous week but I have forgotten. =P Well, not really a scolding but the expectation of me has gone up to another level. I should learn to "take charge" of the situation. Every single little details I must pay attention of, borrowing power supply from other ministry, laying the extension wires (it must be taped up nicely if not people will trip and fall), if the PowerHouse section is filled where I should be sitting, setting up the area, etc. Seriously, all these will not come into my mind. Chorus Board really can trained people to move into spirit of excellance, and I believe that's the DNA of City Harvest Church.

Had a great time today with my ex team over at Bishan BBQ-ing. The condo there is super nice and beautiful, look like a palace. Haha.. Kelvyn shared about his vision in this ministry and it was really good. Really hope to grow more in this ministry and grow in the Lord. =)

:: Service, Ministry ::

Served at Jurong West today. It was a good experience for me as I have never serve in the Main Service at Jurong before. I was quite nervous, and I was feeling quite cold too, keep "trembling" under the power of Air-Con. O_O Haha..

There was some mistakes that I make in the service, but God was good. I managed to run the BV 5 lines smoothly and is able to flash the lyrics on time. =) Looking forward for more of such experiences in the near future.

I might not be serving in Expo anymore. My new team leader, Jacelyn, who is also my Ex-Leader before the English Service starts at Jurong said that she will discussed with Kelvyn and see hows the arrangement like. =) I am quite sad if I couldn't serve at Expo, because I just started to develop relationships with people over there, and the usual laptop that I used. Haha.. Well, it's good to move on to the next level, leaving my comfort zone.

Understand the message better when I attended the Service again. It was good as I have more revelations. =D I want to have intimacy with God more. ;-)

:: Cellgroup ::

Cellgroup was especially different tonight, and I can really feel God so close to me. When Sharon gave an altar call to those who felt a vacuum in their hearts, I lifted up my hand. I can picture Jesus in my mind, and it seems so real, He stretched out His hands, and He held onto my hands. Just like a bridegroom stretching out his hands to the bride, and wanting the bride to be his forever.

Prayer is indeed very important. Even non-Christians know the importance of prayers and they pray to the idols everyday. I will see my dad offer joysticks everyday without fail. Even non-Christians can be so devoted, Christians should be even more be delight in seeking God! One thing we know for sure, God exist and He is real. So doesn't that makes us to pray even more?

I need to repent. . . While I was typing this, somehow, it speak to me. I really need to pray more, and need to humble myself. No matter how tired I may be, I want to pray. Prayers are so important that it can create miracles.

We played the "Passing the Current Game" in CG. Kelvin and I was being forfeited. :'( Haha.. Sharon says that Kelvin and me are not the usual ones being forfeited. Indeed, not only we have to raise up a new generation of leaders, we have to raise up a new generation of "forfeitters" too. LOL.. =P

:: Ministry ::

I will be going over to Jurong West to serve this Sunday. I was quite happy when Si Hui called and asked if I could serve. Well, I didn't expect it to be so soon. Haha..

The software that they used is different from the one over at side board. They will be using the software that they used at the main board. Sounds pretty exciting.. Haha.. I remembered how badly I fare when I do the main board at Jurong West during one of the Prayer Meetings in 2006/2007. Haha.. That's so long ago. However, I believed in myself and I can conquer my failures this time round. =)

God, gave me the wisdom and alertness as I begin to serve this Sunday. It may be practise only, but I still want to serve you with the best of my ability.

One thing Su Ping said, "If Jesus were to serve in your position, what will He do?". I am sure He will learn to take charge of the whole situation, having the responsibility and every single small details to be take note of. He will ensure that everything will run smoothly and what are the things that need to prepare for before hand, and ensuring that the Service run well. =)

:: Life ::

Life? It's just like a story that you will get to read in heaven. Just like we are reading some of the characters in the bible. Some of them lead a meaningful life, they made full use of the time they have on earth. Some of them lead a sad life, and they found no place of repentance. Sad huh? Sometimes, people don't understand how they should be living, what are they living for, who are they living for, until something happen, and sadly to say, by that time they found out, it may be already too late.

I was watching a Hong Kong drama "The Central Affairs 2" and I realised how evil human hearts can be. They can be happily sowing their evil deeds without thinking that what will happen to them in future, and resulting in many tragedies. When I was watching the drama, I think, why can't they live just like a normal person too? Is wealth and power that important to them? Those are just temporary items. Wealth, can be used up one day. Power doesn't last forever. People will overtake you one day...

Of course, it will be good to live in a abundance and prosperity. Pastor Kong always mentioned that we may be poor today, but if we live in God's word, we will not be poor forever. True, because we serve a God who is rich. =) God wants us to work hard too, that's why He gave Adam a job to tend the garden.

I always believe in working hard for it. However, I am strongly against getting money through MLM. To me, it's a bullshit system. Well, at least that's how I feel, because you don't earn money through what you work for, but you earn money through your friends. To put in a nasty tone, you are making use of your friends to earn money, not helping your friends to earn money. I would rather prefer to earn and I get pay by hour, or by month. At least, I will not feel guilty that I make use of my friends to earn money. Anyway, come to think of it, do you think all your friends will respond to this silly system? Do you think you will have endless friends to invite to join any MLM company? Come on, don't let the money work for you, work for it instead! Of course, don't be a slave to the money.

Life can be good if you want it to be.
Life can be interesting if you want it to be.
Life can be memorable if you want it to be.
Life can be made full use of if you want it to be.

I was just pondering over my life. Did I really made full use of it? God put me in this generation. What does He want me to do and achieve? In what areas did He wants me to overcome? Have I ever consider His feelings when I did something wrong? Have I ever make Him as my Lord and saviour? I can say, I did not achieve in certain areas that I have mention. Time and again, I have fail God. Time and again, I have grieved Him. Time and again, I have forgotten the meaning of the Easter story, how He died for our sins on the cross. Time and again, I have forgotten how good He was to me. Time and again, I did not have a relationship with Him. . .

I really hope that I can made full use of my life for God. Time on earth, is really short, compare to eternity in heaven. Well, I am not sure if God will allow us to go back to earth when we are up there. Haha.. One thing I am for sure, that today, 23/05/2008. It won't come back again...

:: Revelation ::

I had a short argument with my mum earlier on this morning. Well, not really an argument, but I complain that why she always asked me to do household chores. I don't mind helping her, but its just that I am lazy to do it. =P

On the way to market just now, I had a sudden revelation. By helping out at home, I am actually serving God. One of the ten commandments say that we must honour our parents. In a way, honouring my parents include helping them to do household chores, and of course, we have to love them and respect them.

What's the point of serving in church but yet we can't even serve our own family members at home? Don't you find that its actually quite similar to the Pharisees? In church, they pretend to be "religious", but in actual fact, they don't. That really hit me hard.

Serving God can be done through alot of ways, not necessary within the four walls of a church. We are 24/7 Christians, not some weekend Christians. We are the child of God. =) So, are you serving God only in church or CG to let people see? Think about it.