:: It's been a long time ::

Indeed, it has been a very long time since I touch this blog. I have lost the fervency of blogging. And have been facebooking all this while. Haha..

So how have I been? I would say, it has been a pretty bad patch that I go through. I was telling Si Hui that it was a miracle that I went for Service last Saturday, because I have made a vow that I will never come to church again after the 20th anniversary. Please don't asked me why. I am not telling. But for 3 simple reasons, it makes me stay on.

1) I feel very happy to be part of the 27,000 strong church in Singapore. During the 20th anniversary, I saw thousands and thousands of people coming together, praising and worshipping God. How awesome is this place, the gates of heaven. I wish to go, but looking at all this people, they are so hungry for God. Why would they want to come to church so early in the morning? It's the presence that draws them here. Life will be very different if a part of my life do not have God and a church.

2) I had a good time serving in Chorus Board for all 3 days in FOP. I feel great to be part of this dynamic ministry in church. =) Sometimes, I really feel like leaving this ministry, (*Not the reason that I don't want to come to church again), but because I feel that the leaders are really good and they are fun and caring. The reason why I want to leave this ministry is because I feel so small in this ministry, but den again, many people started small too. I am not saying that I want to do great things for God, of course I want, but I don't want to progress on unless I can be flow well with pastors and BVs at Side Board. I can do better. =)

3) Overnight Prayer Meeting is one of the most impact that makes me to stay on. I feel Him. He gave me the Word. He is there. He comforted me. =)

:: Air Force ::

Back to the same place where I left a year ago... Memories just keep flashing back into my mind. Haha.. Good to say some familiar faces and familiar friends again. Most of us has gained weight, but one has slim alot. Haha.. Well.. Shall blog again.. =) Take care! 

:: SPOOKY - DO NOT READ AT NIGHT ::

My father has a factory unit somewhere along Old Woodlands Road. He bought it few years ago to put his equipments for work. It is located at a very deserted place and you could hardly see anyone around at night, except the Security Guards. 

The corridors at the building gives a eerie feeling. It is bright but yet very silent. There is a abandoned building nearby that look like a school. The building is spooky if you look from afar. There is a cemetery few meters away. I can see the cemetery and it looks abandoned. However, due to some future development, the cemetery is being demolished and there are hardly any graves left now.

The guards told my father that there are spirits wandering around at night, especially at 2a.m, the cargo lift will have an unexplainable noise. This is strange because no one will use the lift at such a weird timing. When my dad put his equipments in the factory, he feels his "mao" stand. Worst still, last time the tenant beside us is in the business of making coffins. =.=

I do believe in spirits. We need not wait till for the 7th month, there are some who will wonder around. Thank God for protection. =) Till now, I still have not encounter any weird experience. Just for the strange feeling at the corridor sometimes. 

:: HP Spoilt ::

Handphone spoilt again. Poor HPs. All die under my hands. Haiz.. God, cast out the spirit of HP destroyer inside me. 

So fast.. Going to exam tml already. I am not ready to face the challenge, but still I am gonna do it. I really appreciate Samuel and Pascale for their encouragement this few days. Not forgetting Louisa, Kelvin, Hui Shan & Yen Hwee. Haha.. I feel so loved by them. Of course, those "secret" prayer warriors who prayed for me.

It was quite fruitful to study at JW this two days. The Rivera is really beautiful at night. When I am stress, I will just stare at the water dripping. The sound of water that hit against the earth and water, a beautiful melody that clams one's heart. =)

Next week is morning PM. Will I make it? That's hard to say. I shall try, since I stay quite near to church. 

:: Appreciate ::

I really want to thank my friends for the encouragement that you all send me this few days. =) It really meant alot to me. It's just like "logos" and "rhema". 

"logos" - I do know that people do care for me and pray for me. 

"rhema" - This is more of a personal, one to one encouragement. =) It do cheers me up whenever I received SMS and I feel motivated. =)

Haha.. Of course lah, I don't want to be so thick skinned and expect all my friends to encourage me. One or two friends who SMS me makes me to be a different man. =)

Exams will be over soon! Praise God for that. 

:: Randoms in point form ::

01) I am having my exams at RJC and ACJC on 5th June & 10th June.

02) My brother will be enlisting on 12th June. 

03) I am going for reservist on 22nd June.

04) I am on leave now till 10th June, and from 22nd June onwards.

05) I am thinking of going to CHC to study during SOT hours next week.

06) I am going to clear my loans soon! Praise God. =)

07) Congrats to Kelvin and Joseph for becoming an officer.

08) Biblestudy on Song of Solomon was great. 

09) Walking from Pioneer MRT to JW is almost the same as walking from Expo MRT to Hall 1.

10) We are shifting from Hall 8 to Hall 1, but I am only affected by 2 weeks. Haha.. 

11) I am happy that I can go for my cousin's wedding dinner soon. I love shark fin. 

12) Looking forward to see my secondary school tutor, which happen to be my cousin's friend.

13) I want to loose weight.

14) Didn't really enjoy mini-emerge, but it was still good. =)

15) I want to try a ride on the circle line, which I can when I go RJC @ Bishan next week.

16) I want to go to the Henderson Wave on a evening? Anyone want to go with me?

17) I am going to chiong my studies now.

18) So I shall blog again when I am free.

19) Have a great week everyone.

20) God loves you! =)

:: Faith, Hope, Love ::

Faith - This is the element that I am lacking of. 

Hope - This is the element that I am clinging on to.

Love - This is the desire I want to have.

I want faith, to believe I can have my breakthroughs.

I want hope, to believe I can finished revising for my exams. 

I want to love and be loved. - And I hope that one day, I can find my soul mate.

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God. . . Can I still believe that I can?

:: Accounting ::

I wonder how should I do when there is so much thing to study yet I can't do it. I think I can't carrying on accounting. Do I have the "ingredient" to take it? I fail my "ang moh" in my O level. In my future career, I need to write a report. =.= I think the people who read it will laugh their head off. 

I was sharing with my colleague and she agree that our generation have this problem. We go through primary, secondary school system. After we finished our "O" levels, we have to make a decision, because what we study will affect us in our career. Many people are stuck, and they don't know where should we go. Many courses seems fine to us, but what should we really take? There are so many things to choose, what should we really choose? Choosing the one that you like doesn't mean that you do the course in future. Like engineering? I can said that many engineering diplomas didn't choose to be an engineers in the end. I feel that its a boring course, many things to learnt, programing, etc. What's the fun about it? Well, I don't know why I choose that.

I feel that school should play a part in counseling the youths of what they really want to choose after their O levels. Although youths play a part in the decision making, at least the school do their part in creating the future talents in the next generation. Maybe, instead of conducting CCAs, they should take out some part of the time to have the students to visit work shops in poly, seeing what courses interest them, attending lessons with the kor kor and jie jie to see if its interesting anot. 

Since I choose accounting, I will follow all the way. =) (Forceful smile)

:: Service 4 ::

Service 4 with Dr. Kim was great. Haha.. I love her because she is a very cheerful and her preaching bring joy to others. =) Together with her husband, they built the world's largest church with abt 780,000 members in the Kingdom of God. *Actually more than that because they gave away members under their satellite churches in South Korea. 

Was serving just now and it was great. =) Can I say that I took the same lift with Toro(Energy's boyband) and with Ps. Chee Kiang few hours ago? Haha.. Once in a life time experience. =D But hor.. Toro's hair not so nice leh.. Should cut post BMT hair style, short, nice, tidy and smart. Haha.. His testimony was good, and I hope that Taiwan will keep shinning for Jesus! =)

Next week is Mike Connell! So excited for his Service, because there is so much devil in my body like the sand on the sea shore and like the stars in the sky. =P I wish that I can be set free in his Service. =)

:: Greetings! ::

Work is good. There are new guys joining the company recently and I feel glad, because I have more people to chit chat with now. Haha.. They are from NTU and NUS, doing their intern for three months. =)

I am getting more and more stress as exams are drawing near. Sometimes, I just wish that I could have the good memory and the energy to study. However, I can't. I have no more strength to study after work. Therefore, the best time to study is weekends. That's why I decided to go to JW Services for a month. I feel that it will save more time and I would have the energy to concentrate on my studies more. =)

God.. Would You give me more strength please? 

(I was feel left out when I see the photos that you guys take. Although I may not be there, but you never include me inside the celebration. However, that's not the thing I am sad about, the thing I feel disappointed is that you never asked me to send you the wishes, and that's the least you could, but you did not.)

:: Nothing ::

Nothing. I have nothing to say. I guess, maybe I am just being demanding or having a higher expectation of people. Well, I guess I should lower down my expectation and just continue to live what I just to have. Meanwhile, I will just pretend that nothing has happen from the beginning. Hopefully, just one day I will find the special someone. 

"Until we have learn to love one another, we will not reach the promised land." - This is written on the MSN by one of my friend who is a malay. Amazing statement. =)

I will stop using internet for some period unless necessary till my exams are over. So much things to learn and so little time. Hoping to find a study mate.

:: Money Not Enough, Salvation For It? ::

Money is not enough. For me, although I have started working, but I have not receive the pay yet, therefore I am quite tight in my finances. I just think of a crazy solution. An altar call for money. Haha.. =D

I will lay down the cash(many many $2, $5, $10 notes) on my bed. I will then preach to them, saying how valuable they are to the mankind, helping them to meet their needs and fulfilling their destiny in life, praising them for their good works they have done. However, due to the bad economic crisis, it is very important not to spend on unneccessary items. I will then tell them to be careful of their masters in their life.

After which, I will give an altar call to them, and then I will see if any notes want to be saved. I will take them along with me, lead them into a prayer, and put them in a bank. LOL.. =P My money shall be saved! =)

:: Visit from Germany ::

Lunch was provided by the company today as my CEO's boss from Germany came to our office today. It was quite high class, not like the normal buffet that was served in the occasional function. I mean, I love normal buffet food too, but today's one I would rate 4 stars out of 5. =)

I helped myself with the desert - Cheng Teng quite a lot of times. Haha.. It was very nice and sweet. =) Hmm.. However, I can't really find anyone to talk to. Haha.. So I was like walking here and there. Haha.. I did talk to a few people, but was not engaging into it. There are only 3 guys in my department. One is the CEO, another is his chauffeur, and the other one is me. Haha.. So, it could be bored sometimes. Haha.. But I am still going on fine in this company. =) Sometimes I wish that there will be more young guys to talk to in the organization. Haha.. The rest of the departments guys are mostly not young adults like me.. So, we didn't have much to talk to. Haha..

Talking to girls can be quite challenging. Erhem... Is like how? Can I say, "Angela, your bag is so nice, where did it you from?" or  "Karen, your top is nice, how much you buy arh?" Haha.. That will be strange right? Talking about company during break? Hmm.. Okay loh.. But I guess some people might want to focus on more relax stuff than work instead. Haha.. Relationship issues? Quite a touchy topic. So what else can talk about? I really don't know leh. Hahaha.. 

Sometimes, it could be an advantage to be a "flowery prince", so that talking to girls is not a problem. =) Haha.. May the rest of my one year in this company be a smooth sailing and more young guys to join this company. 

:: Being an "eunuch" in the marketplace ::

I got to admit that the entry title is over exaggerated. Haha.. Why do I say myself as an eunuch? Well, because I am serving my boss in my department, just like how the ancient eunuch serve their queen in the China history. Haha.. Well, but I am happily serving her because I like her as my boss. Buying food for her, helping her in some admin stuff, etc. BUT, I am still a 100% man with no defects in my body structure, just except that my height is shorter than average guys by a few cm. LOL.. I may look like 100% man, but deep inside me I got to say that there's a large percentage of childishness inside. 

I am not under her direct supervision, she is my boss's boss. Maybe, it will be too quick for me to conclude that the queen is a nice person, because I just joined this company not for long and there may be some things that I have not discovered. So.. While I find her still nice, I will continue to serve her as I can. Moreover, she's the one who gave me the job, and I should "serve" her while I can. Even if I were to discover the ugly side of her one day, I will still(try) to work with her. Where can I find such a good paying job in the midst of economic crisis? For now, I can say that I am not working for the sake of money, although I need it, because I like to do the boring mundane office job. Haha..

One thing I like most about my workplace is that I can see the ongoing construction of IR, along with Singapore Flyer and the sea. I do not have the privilege to sit beside that view, but I will go inside the meeting room and enjoy the scenery when its empty. 

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I just wanna to thank passerby and Pascale for encouraging me. Both of you have encourage me to go on, and not to stop. Really appreciated! Thanks.. =) Gonna study soon.. :-)

:: God is good ::

God has been indeed very good to me. I have been searching for job for a very long time. All this while, I have been taking short part time jobs and the income isn't very much for me. Sometimes, I have to borrow money from my family members because I do not have enough finances. 

I am working as a QC somewhere at Jurong East area. The pay isn't very attractive but yet I still want to go to work. I am quite tight at the time because the basic needs of my life are not meet. And yepx, so I decided to work. However, I told my supervisor that I wanted to leave earlier, because I want to focus on my studies more. (I was so stress that I don't know how to start and where to start my studies) I planned to work till Thursday(the day before Good Friday) because that amount I would have enough to fulfill at least 70 - 80% of my building fund. However, she didn't give me a second chance, and she say I might as well just leave. I dismiss the thoughts, but I received the call from the boss - I am fired!

When God close a door, He will opened up another day. The very same say itself, I received a phone call from my ex-supervisor, and she offered me a job! I was so happy that I couldn't believe it in my ears. I shared with Samuel, because the day before, he pray for me. He is one of the guys beside Kelvin and Derek that really care for me. Haha.. And... I was rejoicing! 

When God bless people, He doesn't just bless you with a small amount, but a BIG amount! I calculated and I found out that my income has increase by at least 70%! What's more, the pay that I received is much higher than diploma holders and I do not have any experience at all! In this economic crisis, I am still able to find one! My company is also expanding! Haha.. They offered me a one year contract and what's more it comes with a 14 days of leave and 14 days of MCs! God is indeed good.. =)

My supervisor is also willing to let me go and study for my exams. Haha.. So nice right? What's more the things that I do is also somehow related to what I study in school.. =) I was indeed happy and proud to say that God is a really wonderful God. The God I know, is faithful and true!

During this period of my financial crisis, I would like to thank a few people who have help me through. 

Sharon - Thanks for offering me a job in church office and praying for me. Really appreciated! =)

Louisa - Thanks for blessing me a Ez-link card! Really appreciated! =)

Derek - Thanks for blessing me food at times. =)

Samuel - Thanks for praying for my finances. You are such a nice person. =)

Kelvin - Thanks for always showing concern and praying for my work and studies. I love you! =)

Si Hui - Thanks for sharing and caring for me. =)

Pascale - Thanks for your encouragement. =)

CHCCB - Thanks everyone, especially Si Hui, Jacelyn and Meng Wei. =)

Others who have pray for me in one way or another. Thank you so much. =)

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After what you told me after Service today.. I do agree with what you say. However, I don't know how should I explain to you. I can still do when I have the time. I am not(maybe) giving up the ministry that I am called to do. However.. When things are no longer the same as the past, things will turn out to be very different. I would love to use my talents that God has given me to make others happy(hopefully for the past one year when I first started for the cycle). It would mean a sacrifice to me - my work, my studies and even my family. However, there are other areas that I can help up too. Maybe, the weakness is that the perfectness of a certain task that I will put totally into it that cause me to take up a lot of time? Just doing a simple SS, it would take me an hour to do it, believe it or not? Maybe, I am stupid? Maybe, I am not as fast as others? Maybe, because I just want to be different every week? Maybe, the 'ministry buster' is I want to be totally perfect in what I want to do? You may not understand of what I am going through. Do you know that I have a breakdown few months back? Because I have no work and money. My studies is in a mess and I don't know how and where to start. I am stress. I feel like giving up. I am not saying that I should push God aside just because I am busy. But how about those Zone Supervisors like Joanne who has step down and go into the marketplace? Surely she would still have the time for the zone? Well.. I don't know. Maybe I am just like her? I am very tired when I reached home after school. Sometimes, I would dozed off in class. Sometimes, it come to a point that it doesn't matter if I pass the exams anymore, because, I have given up. 

Friends, if you were me, what will you do? I do agree that we should not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, but if you were in my position, what will you do? I can still help out for the next event, because I guess.. I would be free by that period.. But, can I take a break for now? I don't know.